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Secret Rendezvous 密会







Website
2021







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2020 placed our existential condition into a state of in-betweenness. The liminal catastrophe of COVID-19 forced bodies into confinement, while globally amplifying political uncertainty and transitional unrest. Having grown up in a multicultural immigrant city and international school, I was no stranger to communities that treat liminality as a permanent habitat.

But somewhere along the line, my mental state fractured. When an astrologer suggested that I might fear intimacy not for lack of love, but out of fear of losing the boundaries of my identity, I realized: the enemy wasn’t outside, but within.

In response, I began a conversation with “Jonathan”—a fictional artist I created online. He became a broken, symbolic, and politicized proxy of myself. Through “his” presence, I explored the interstitial zones of the internet: where art and love blur into labor, where visibility dissolves into performance, and where digital reproduction unsettles the very notion of self. I created a website as Jonathan’s tower of chaos and divergence—containing a letter, a case study, and visual works influenced by Japanese existentialist writer Kobo Abe.

Confined to my room, I began to understand that art-making is a form of fear-confrontation. “Jonathan” became a vessel, not just for me, but for others: my estranged Taiwanese partner, activists in Berlin posting manifestos, anonymous users sharing black squares on Instagram, visitors browsing the site in silence. Jonathan is collectively composed—a fractal figure, like grass trembling in a wind field, shaping and reshaping his own form through others' attention.


2020年将我们的存在推入一种“中间性”状态。新冠疫情带来的边缘性灾难迫使我们被困于物理空间，同时放大了全球性的政治不确定与结构转型。
我成长于一个典型的移民城市与国际学校，对那些将“边界性”视作栖居方式的群体并不陌生。

但在某个时刻，我的精神濒临崩溃。一位占星师曾说，我不是害怕亲密，而是害怕在亲密中失去自我、被他人吞没。那时我意识到：敌人其实不在外部，而是在内里。

于是我构造出一位名叫“乔纳森”的虚拟艺术家，与他展开自我对话。他成了我在网络中的分身——一个破碎的、象征性的、政治化的身体。通过他的存在，我重新审视生活，探索互联网的间隙空间：在这里，艺术与情感交织为劳动，曝光成为表演，而数字化再生产动摇了“自我”本身的稳定性。
我以“乔纳森”之名建立了一个网站——一座混沌与分裂之塔，包含一封信、一份案例研究，以及受日本存在主义作家安部公房启发的图像作品。

在封闭的空间中，我渐渐体会到：艺术创作的本质，是一种对恐惧的直视。
“乔纳森”并不只属于我，他是一个共构体——包括我那段疏远的台籍恋人、在柏林张贴宣言的陌生人、在Instagram上发出黑色方块的匿名者，以及那些默默浏览网站的人们。他是一个分形体，如风中小草，在能量场中摇曳生长，借由他者的目光不断生成自己的形态。






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